REVISED April 28th: Yo Michael Reagan, all sorts of things arouse people. President Reagan's son, Michael, tweeted on April 21st, "If women are going to wear low cut dresses that show cleavage don’t be harassed when we men look. Or shld we sue for sexual arousal?" --- UHHH --- A fully covered woman may or may not arouse a man (or another woman); a bit of cleavage may or may not arouse another person; ANYTHING may or may not arouse another person. Painted toenails might arouse one man and not another. Hair up in a bun might arouse one man and not another. (I'll use the word "man" instead of "person" from now on until the very end, because the recent news topics have been about sexual harassment from a man to a woman.) One man's cause for arousal is not always another man's cause for arousal. No matter what a woman does, a man may become aroused. Next, people will be tweeting that men and women can't work together, because we arouse each other.
If a man is aroused, he needs to have enough self control to let it go. Sexual speech, grunting sounds, looking a woman up and down, other sexual body language, and inappropriate grabbing and touching are choices, most of the time. If the behavior is repeated, then, it's hard to believe the aroused person does not realize what they are doing. Why does a man harass a woman in the workplace? To intimidate? To build himself up? If a man is already successful, why not give back? Why not build up others? Is it some sort of fetish for men in power to harass? --- Just trying to put it together. I need to revise this several more times, probably.
Knowing what our INTENTIONS are with other people seems to be tough.
[ I said, “Most of the time,” in the second paragraph, because I've been researching Asperger’s and read some people with Asperger’s do have difficulty being aware of their body language and responses around others. That’s a tough topic to talk and/or write about. AND NOW, the term Asperger's is not officially used, anymore. Nowadays, there is an autism spectrum. I had a series of confusing experiences with a man, fairly recently over a prolonged period of time, and am trying to figure them out. What I found was that what was called Asperger's pretty much fits him, but I don't even know if he is on the autism spectrum. This was an ongoing thing and not because I wore a low cut shirt. I actually never wore a low cut shirt in front of him. Maybe my beautiful personality and intelligence caused his behavior. There's more to this story, but it doesn't fit the theme of this post. I did write something almost the length of a fictional novella based on these experiences, though, hee hee; I might go back and rewrite it as nonfiction, but anyway... - I guess I should say that I don't know if people on the autism spectrum can LEARN from their former experiences with others or not. I also don't want to be an enabler and say they cannot learn more appropriate behavior or become aware of themselves. One of my student's parents who is a doctor said some people just like to tease. Well, friendship teasing, sexual teasing, and relationship teasing are all hurtful. WHAT ARE THE INTENTIONS? ]
Onward:
Alrighty, so what about an employee who might be harassing another employee at work? Who decides which employee has more power than the other? Well, a man who is in a higher position than the woman, whether or not he is the boss, has more clout or power. The lower ranked person may feel scared to confront the other in fear of losing her job. And I hate to say it, but a woman at the same job level might be afraid to confront or report it, too. I think what I stated in this paragraph has been stated for a long time. Then, why do people get away with wrongdoing for so long?
Back to "Should we sue for sexual arousal?" -- I have been told the phrase: "No one can make you. . ." followed by "happy" or "angry.” It’s difficult to put the word "aroused" at the end of that sentence. It's the "Did the person try or intend to make you happy, angry, or aroused on purpose?" part that might be fuzzy. -- Did the person try or intend to make you angry? Just because you became angry doesn't give you the right to go back and punch them in the gut. Did they try or intend to make you happy? Just because you became happy doesn't mean that you capture them, take them home, lock them up, and release them when you want to be made happy. Did the person try or intend to make you aroused? Just because you are sexually aroused doesn't give you the right to grunt, touch, look the other person who you think tried to arouse you up and down, catcall, stare at them, or do anything sexual with them or around them.
On the other hand, why would a person intend to make another person angry or aroused on purpose? I mean the former makes no sense unless you are a lawyer in a movie questioning Jack Nicholson's character in A Few Good Men. Doing the latter in the workplace is not appropriate. If a person has intentions to arouse another, because s/he likes them, maybe it's best to talk outside the workplace, maybe ask a person on an old fashioned date and take it from there. --- Sounds like a lot of common sense and yet there are so many people hurting others.
And if person 1 did NOT try or intend to make person 2 happy, angry, or aroused, and person 2 became happy, angry, or aroused, person 2 doesn't have a right to punch, capture, or do anything sexual with them or around them.
Communication is tough. Awareness of our thoughts, speech, and actions is tough. Knowing what our INTENTIONS are with other people seems to be tough. That's why there are rules in SOME workplaces. --- Life doesn't have many guidelines to help outside the workplace. Our intent and motivation need to be checked, frequently.
Good Luck to everyone.
If a man is aroused, he needs to have enough self control to let it go. Sexual speech, grunting sounds, looking a woman up and down, other sexual body language, and inappropriate grabbing and touching are choices, most of the time. If the behavior is repeated, then, it's hard to believe the aroused person does not realize what they are doing. Why does a man harass a woman in the workplace? To intimidate? To build himself up? If a man is already successful, why not give back? Why not build up others? Is it some sort of fetish for men in power to harass? --- Just trying to put it together. I need to revise this several more times, probably.
Knowing what our INTENTIONS are with other people seems to be tough.
[ I said, “Most of the time,” in the second paragraph, because I've been researching Asperger’s and read some people with Asperger’s do have difficulty being aware of their body language and responses around others. That’s a tough topic to talk and/or write about. AND NOW, the term Asperger's is not officially used, anymore. Nowadays, there is an autism spectrum. I had a series of confusing experiences with a man, fairly recently over a prolonged period of time, and am trying to figure them out. What I found was that what was called Asperger's pretty much fits him, but I don't even know if he is on the autism spectrum. This was an ongoing thing and not because I wore a low cut shirt. I actually never wore a low cut shirt in front of him. Maybe my beautiful personality and intelligence caused his behavior. There's more to this story, but it doesn't fit the theme of this post. I did write something almost the length of a fictional novella based on these experiences, though, hee hee; I might go back and rewrite it as nonfiction, but anyway... - I guess I should say that I don't know if people on the autism spectrum can LEARN from their former experiences with others or not. I also don't want to be an enabler and say they cannot learn more appropriate behavior or become aware of themselves. One of my student's parents who is a doctor said some people just like to tease. Well, friendship teasing, sexual teasing, and relationship teasing are all hurtful. WHAT ARE THE INTENTIONS? ]
Onward:
Alrighty, so what about an employee who might be harassing another employee at work? Who decides which employee has more power than the other? Well, a man who is in a higher position than the woman, whether or not he is the boss, has more clout or power. The lower ranked person may feel scared to confront the other in fear of losing her job. And I hate to say it, but a woman at the same job level might be afraid to confront or report it, too. I think what I stated in this paragraph has been stated for a long time. Then, why do people get away with wrongdoing for so long?
Back to "Should we sue for sexual arousal?" -- I have been told the phrase: "No one can make you. . ." followed by "happy" or "angry.” It’s difficult to put the word "aroused" at the end of that sentence. It's the "Did the person try or intend to make you happy, angry, or aroused on purpose?" part that might be fuzzy. -- Did the person try or intend to make you angry? Just because you became angry doesn't give you the right to go back and punch them in the gut. Did they try or intend to make you happy? Just because you became happy doesn't mean that you capture them, take them home, lock them up, and release them when you want to be made happy. Did the person try or intend to make you aroused? Just because you are sexually aroused doesn't give you the right to grunt, touch, look the other person who you think tried to arouse you up and down, catcall, stare at them, or do anything sexual with them or around them.
On the other hand, why would a person intend to make another person angry or aroused on purpose? I mean the former makes no sense unless you are a lawyer in a movie questioning Jack Nicholson's character in A Few Good Men. Doing the latter in the workplace is not appropriate. If a person has intentions to arouse another, because s/he likes them, maybe it's best to talk outside the workplace, maybe ask a person on an old fashioned date and take it from there. --- Sounds like a lot of common sense and yet there are so many people hurting others.
And if person 1 did NOT try or intend to make person 2 happy, angry, or aroused, and person 2 became happy, angry, or aroused, person 2 doesn't have a right to punch, capture, or do anything sexual with them or around them.
Communication is tough. Awareness of our thoughts, speech, and actions is tough. Knowing what our INTENTIONS are with other people seems to be tough. That's why there are rules in SOME workplaces. --- Life doesn't have many guidelines to help outside the workplace. Our intent and motivation need to be checked, frequently.
Good Luck to everyone.
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